In a stunning display of selfless concern for the future of the human race, Prime Minister John Howard of Australia announced today that he opposed same-sex marriages, "saying traditional unions are essential for the 'survival of the species'."
Biologists and environmentalists around the world were astounded to learn homo sapiens were considered endangered in Australia. "We thought they were doing pretty well," said one. "At least as well as the rabbits and cane toads. Blimey. Who knew?"
