4

November
2004

7:29 am

how canadians can help

Marry an American!

The pledge:

Should George W. Bush be declared the official winner of the November 2 election and be re-installed as acting President of the United States, I the undersigned, a Canadian citizen, pledge to liberate, through the legal and binding act of marriage, a willing citizen of the United States of America, of a gender of my choosing, and with one or all of the following political leanings:

  1. discouraged Democrat,
  2. reformed Republican,
  3. apolitical with limited world-domination tendencies.

In addition, I promise to help my new Yankee spouse to adapt to life in the great white north, keeping them safe from (gratuitous) invasion of privacy, and to provide him/her with a reasonable supply of Timbits.

Of course, Nola and I are no longer available to assist materially in this worthy goal, but no reason for lots of you single folks to let I*heart*trees1985 or LeftyLucy snap up all the best prospects.

tagged: , | 4 Comments
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4 Comments

  1. posted November 4, 2004 at 7:48 am

    What I want to know is, what the heck’s a Timbit? Does it have anything to do with Tim Horton’s or hockey?

  2. posted November 4, 2004 at 7:56 am

    That may be a state secret, but whatttheheck… It’s a doughnut hole from Tim Horton’s.

  3. posted November 4, 2004 at 11:27 pm

    Hmmm. Four years of evangelical neofascism vs. life without Krispy Kremes… It’s a tough call.

  4. posted November 4, 2004 at 11:44 pm

    No need to give up Krispy Kremes; they’ve expanded northwards.

    (I noticed the other day that bakeries put signs saying stuff like, “Doughnuts! Fresh-baked!” Except that’s not how you make doughnuts. But I supposed “Doughnuts! Freshly Deep-Fried!” wouldn’t have quite the right feel to it.)