16

July
2005

7:34 AM

wildlife

Okay, this would unnerve me:

Which is probably why a harbour seal suddenly surfaced next to Manson's boat.

"He just peeks his head up and then he just, all at once, launches himself into the back end of the boat," Manson explained. "His eyes were just huge, like saucers, and he was hyper-ventilating.

"He wanted out of the water and he was going to take his chances with us rather than with the whale."

Manson wasn't sure what to do.

"We were sitting there and there's not much room in the boat."

Whenever Manson or his guests got close to the seal, it would snarl and bare his teeth.

"It's not like we could push him out of the boat or anything like that."

Well, isn't this a fine how-d'ye-do? We've already let the bears and the cougars know we're all really (succulent snack-like) pushovers, and now the seals? Next thing you know, the squirrels are gonna start jumping in the windows and rifling through the breakfast things and flipping the TV to the cartoon channel.

I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later, that the wildlife would notice that all the armed humans are thinner on the ground than they used to be, and that the rest of us are pretty much mobile pinãtas. We'll have to learn to stand our ground, if we're to retain any dignity. From now on, no more than one granola bar per raccoon.

battening down the hatches in time to Joan Of Arc from the album "Famous Blue Raincoat" by Jennifer Warnes

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