It’s NOT all about you, dammit

Today I paid my bills. My MasterCard bill always comes loaded with advertising inserts, and this was no exception. Normally I don't even look at them, they go straight into the recycle, but for some reason, this time, one insert caught my eye.

"We will print a story book about YOUR CHILD," it announced boldly.

Except they don't, of course. They have books like "My Special Dinosaur Adventure," presumably created specially for this mass-market marketing. They also reprint stories that are old enough to have gone into the public domain, and substitute your child's name for the name of the characters in the story. Actually, they use the Disney versions of these stories, but still.

So, for example, you can get Winnie the Pooh with little Troy or Brittany instead of Christopher Robin. And if that isn't enough, your child's siblings and friends will be "cleverly woven into the story," along with their birthday and address, so it feels really personalized. "See how happy your children will be when they read these books and discover the story is all about them, their family, and friends."

Winnie the Pooh without Christopher Robin. And I suppose Eeyore has become BobbieSue.

At what point does it stop being a story and start becoming self promotion? Why can't kids enjoy books about OTHER PEOPLE? It's no wonder everyone thinks everything is about me, me, memeME!!!

Please excuse me while I wander off muttering about hell and handbaskets.